The Learning Curve of a First Time Mom

                     

It's been a long time since I had babies, but I'm pretty sure I would have gotten Flynn's seat belt right on the grocery cart and not made it into a shoulder harness like Alex did.  She's a first time mom and still has a learning curve.

Not that I would ever say anything.

She bought one of those big fancy strollers that weigh a ton and have more cup holders than my Honda.

"No!" I wanted to tell her.  "It's too big.  It's too heavy.  You don't need all those bells and whistles. They irritate people on sidewalks and in stores because you push people off the curbs and hog the aisles.  You only need one of those little umbrella strollers with no suspension and a wonky wheel like we had in the 80's."

She thinks babies can't have cheerios unless they're broken up into little pieces.

"No!" I want to laugh.  "You don't need to buy expensive freeze dried yogurt melts that I'm going to eat when you're not looking. Babies have been eating whole cheerios for generations.  Sure, we may have been wrong about the hot dogs, but whole cheerios are fine. Even generic ones. You ate so many whole cheerios as a baby you probably have a few still digesting in your stomach."

She thinks it's time for Flynn to learn how to walk. 

"No!" I want to yell.  "If he can walk, he can run.  Out into streets, away from you at grocery stores, into the middle of clothing racks at department stores where you won't be able to find him and will have to call security. Crawling is good.  It's controlled.  You can still go faster than him. You want to keep him crawling until he's six or so."

She moved Flynn's crib into my room when we stayed together in a hotel for two weeks.

"WHAT?! Doesn't he wake up in the middle of the night and need a bottle? How will you hear him?"  I think I said this out loud.

Because she just grinned.

She may be farther along on that learning curve than I thought.