Cleaning Out My Memory

I'll be talking to Bess, and we'll be having a nice conversation, and then she'll ask me what I did yesterday.

Yesterday? I have no clue what I did yesterday.

But when I was six we went to Santa Claus, Indiana and rode the....Damn! What's the word I'm looking for? I think it starts with a "c." "C-o" maybe.

This is going to drive me crazy! I'm off to the dictionary. There are 44 pages of "c-o" words in Webster's Collegiate. All small print. Still, I can handle it. My finger scrolls down the list and then stops. I've forgotten what I was looking for.

I remember when I was ten and decided to read all the words in the dictionary. I got as far "asparagus" and stopped. I hated asparagus. It was mushy, and an ugly olive green color, and had these strings that stuck in your teeth.

But I don't need to remember that! I love asparagus now. All I need to remember is not to overcook it and not to buy it in a can. Delete, delete, delete!

I need to delete all this useless information rolling around in my memory so I have room for what I did yesterday.

I don't need to know where all the McDonalds with playgrounds are located in St. Louis.  I don't live in St. Louis anymore and my youngest kid is 27. Time to delete.

And, yes, Clinton brought some shame to the presidency. I remember all the details. Everyone else seems to have forgotten it.Why shouldn't I? Delete.

How to diagram sentences? Pfft! I could do it in my sleep. All the while remembering Mrs. Elliott standing in front of the class in her jersey dress telling us how important it was. But, really, I've become quite comfortable with dangling participles. Delete.

My first grade teacher's name? I don't need to remember that. I can always make one up. If a classmate remembers it differently and I stick to my guns, they'll just blame it on their own bad memory. Delete.

"Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Delete. Delete. Delete. I don't want to hear that one ever again.

How good the chicken at Chick-fil-A tastes? I'm pretty sure I can delete. Because it's never going to taste that good again.

All those slogans from the '60's like "Give Peace a Chance" and "Make Love Not War"? They don't seem to be of much use these days. Delete.

And while I'm at it, I need to get rid of all those words like "neat" and "groovy" and "bummer" and "nifty." When's the last time I used them? Well, okay, I'll keep "neat." The rest go.

Things are looking clearer already. I'm pretty sure the word I was looking for was "colossal." A few more deletes and I might even remember that I went shopping yesterday.

Whoa! That came out of nowhere--winded right through all that useless information and landed on center stage.

If only I could remember if I bought anything and where I put it.

Delete, delete, delete....